“I’m fine, it’s nothing.”

Ever had someone close look visibly down, yet when asked “Are you okay?”, the answer is just, “I’m fine, it’s nothing.” …It can be a bit tricky to know how to respond, right?

Whether that reaction comes from being upset, feeling overwhelmed to the point of not finding the right words, or perhaps just wanting to protect someone else from their stresses—please, try not to feel like there’s a need to dig for answers. Pushing too hard might just make them pull further away. If there’s a real desire to help, shifting from ‘grilling’ them to simply ‘holding space’ might be a warmer way to go.

Here are some examples of how to create a space where someone feels truly safe to open up:

Focus on connection first
There’s no need to rush into “the talk”. Sometimes, just being present is enough. Try saying, “It’s totally okay not to be ready to share anything right now. Let’s just take a moment together.” Knowing someone is there with zero expectations is often exactly what’s needed to feel safe enough to eventually share on one’s own.

Mirror what is noticed
Instead of the generic “What’s wrong?”, try being specific about what has been observed, e.g., “I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately, feels like there’s a lot on your mind.” Then, just pause, and give space. Pointing out what’s seen without judgment leaves the door open for them to share whenever they feel ready.

Validate, don’t fix
Once they’ve shared, try to resist the urge to jump into “advice mode” (avoid phrases like “Come on, be optimistic!” or “I’ve faced something even harder than you.”). Instead, sit with the experience, e.g., “Oh dear, hearing that, it’s no wonder things feel so exhausting. If the roles were reversed, I would feel exactly the same way.” This helps them feel like the weight isn’t being carried alone.

Embrace the silence
It’s perfectly okay if they aren’t in the headspace to talk right away. If the conversation hits a lull, there’s no need to rush to fill the silence. Staying calm and steady sends the signal: ‘There’s no rush, and I’m here for as long as you need.’ Often, that quiet presence says more than any words could.

And so much more techniques!

Want to level up those listening skills? Check out the Mind First Aid (MFA) course. It breaks down these techniques in a super simple, easy-to-digest way. It’s completely free, comes with a certificate, and once finished, there’s an opportunity to join as a volunteer listener on the Sati application as well. Come learn with us—it’s amazing how much a little active listening can help the people around us.

Register for the free MFA course here: https://elearning.satiapp.co/